


I've Been Counting Down To Christmas

by duchessofwraiths



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Incest, Intoxication, Sibling Incest, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 00:26:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duchessofwraiths/pseuds/duchessofwraiths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose realizes it's Christmas on the meteor, and she drinks to celebrate.<br/>Dave and Kanaya don't react well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Been Counting Down To Christmas

We are sprawled out on the floor by Can Town. Kanaya brought me some chocolates that she'd managed, with Dave's assistance of course, to acquire using more grist than she was used to using. I have not touched them yet. Something dwells on my mind. 

 

"What are you thinking about?" she asks.

“It’s Christmas. Not here. But back home, it’s Christmas Eve. I’ve been counting the days in ink.” I hold out my arm. Captchalogued some pens a while back, and that is what I have been using them for. There is nothing else to write about. The notches overlap each other, blue on black on red, and it looks a little crazy. I look a little crazy showing her the fifty-five lines, but she touches my arm like she’s trying to read them, like they mean something.

“Truly?”

“Yes. It is Christmas Eve. I should be shaking gifts under the tree, and lighting candles…watching little kid cartoons about Santa Claus. Sending John another bunny.”

“What is Santa Claus?" Kanaya asks. It's one of my rare sober moments, and I almost muster up the will to say something clever. Instead, I grin at her.

"We can have a proper Christmas right here.”

The first thing she wants to say is _why_ but she settles for “How?”

“I have something festive.” I hand her the bottle of clear liquid.

"Rose, you should not be drinking this much of this soporific."

"Kanaya, if you try it, maybe you'll understand."

She glances at the bottle only briefly before giving me an extended stare, trying to read my mind. She is under the impression suddenly that she is Vriska, that she can change me with guilt-inducing looks. I wink at her, swallowing hard.

_I_ _f she only tried it, maybe she would understand._

“Drink!”

Kanaya takes a small sip and grimaces. "It burns my mouth."

"Oh, give it here." I ought to have known she would be unable to comprehend exactly what it is. Coping mechanism, addiction...no, that's not it. It's a pastime, like any other, and Kanaya's troll upbringing does now allow her to be culturally sensitive. That is exactly it. I snatch it back from her, and I swear my hands don't shake.

I pour the rest down my throat, closing my mouth and wincing. 

"It burns you." Kanaya observes quietly. 

“Pain is pleasure, pain is pleasure!” That wasn't my only bottle. I’m going numb with each new glass I down, relishing in the burn even as it tears up my eyes.

I drink so much I lose count. She keeps watching me, but she doesn't move to stop me, only placing a hand to brace me as I lose my balance. Maybe she does understand, so why does she look so sad?

Takes about five swigs past infinity for my head to go mad.

My head feels light and the room is spinning in hearts, in spades, in diamonds. Kaaanka is being very...something. I don’t know which way is up, so I take a wild guess. Up looks like ceiling, so I rise unsteadily to my feet. I sway back and forth, back and forth, like a swing! I think I'm breaking Can Town...

Her face is grey?

_I take a few steps and whoa. The door is right in my face. I don’t catch myself in time, can’t, so I am falling against it now. That should hurt but it opened! Here I am, tumbling onto the hallway floor. Pitted and shiny. I'm smart, I'm very smart. Smart enough for this. Smart enough for anything?_

Anything.

There’s Dave, blonde and scowling behind his shades. All in red. He likes to scowl at me now. He is helping me off the floor and moody, very moody. “Rose?” he says. "Rose, please, stop."

“Dave what an unexpect surprise. Merry Gristmas.” My words don't sound like I want them to sound. "Santa..." What did I want to say about Santa? What is Santa? Santa is presents and fat, very obese man Santa.

“You’re slurring your words. Rose-”

“That sh-sure my name.” I sink back down but he pulls me up again.

“Rose, listen to me! Are you drunk again?” I giggle. He doesn’t. I don’t get it. He is saying my name funnily. “Rose.” He slaps my cheek gently.

“Ow!” I laugh, sending hot hot breath in his face.

He waves it away. “You reek of alcohol.”

“Oh, schnapps!” I giggle. “Schnapps, it’s Halloween. I smell like alcohol on Christmas! Presents and kisses!” I lean in and plant a kiss on his mouth. He has a warm mouth, but a scared one. David doesn't seem to like the kiss because he freezes. His face is fuzzed out like the picture on an old television, but I see I made him sad...or something. This is infidelity. 

What am I doing?

_I didn't mean to do that. I have a girlfriend, and she isn't Dave Strider._

"You want some chocolate?” I bend down and grab some off the floor. I crush them into my mouth. They’re goopy and sweet. Brown sugar slime.

“You just ate off the floor. Where is she getting all of this **alcohol?** " His voice goes loud at the end. Kanana won't answer him, because David is being frightening.

“Come on, Rose. I’ll put you to bed. I don't want her passing out on the floor again.” He talks like I'm not here.

“I don’t wanna go to bed!” I kick him but it’s not that hard. I punch him punch him punch him but he’s looking at me like he feels sorry for me. I feel sorry for him.

_He has no Christmas Eve, not like me and K-K-shit, I know this one. My girlfriend. K-_

**shit.**

“I’ll get you a present tomorrow.” Dave says to placate me. I know he's lying, but it is a beautiful lie. Presents. Mom would get me presents sometimes, on my birthday and Christmas.

I go limp in his arms. “You will?”

“I promise.” He carries/drags me down the hall, my socks slipping and sliding. He puts me in the soft bed, and pulls up covers to my neck. He goes to leave, but I grab his wrist. David's wrist. I never forget his name. I never could forget his name.

_David Strider. Rose Lalonde. David Strider. Rose La-Rose La-Kana-_

_David Strider. Easy name to rememember._

“Christmas kiss. You forgot the Christmas kiss.”

He presses lips to my forehead.

“Good luck kiss.” He does it again with a good-natured sigh.

“And good night kiss.” I clasp my arms around his neck, pulling him down to my face so his eyes are right by mine. He looks almost scared. He is stiff, just as stiff as he was when I kissed him earlier. _I didn't mean to, I just forgot he was my brother, I just forgot..._

“What is it?” Dave wants to know.

“If you kiss me, you know what?” I feel disgusting, but he is rapt. His eyes are trained on my mouth, even when I stop to let him answer.

He doesn’t respond. He's shaking.

“It’s incest!” I laugh in his face, and my arms fall to my sides. He draws away, striding to the door.

“Go to sleep, Rose.”

“Stop saying my name like you care.” I mutter, burying my face in the pillow. Raindeers haunt my dreams, but these ones don't fly. _Shadows dominate the plot. No one wants to drink or kiss in these dreams. They just wave their tentacles, and the horrorterrors come closer_ ,

until it's wiped away at three in the morning because I wake up to vomit.

_Dave is still standing in my doorway, like the good brother he is._

I can't see his eyes behind those shades.


End file.
